Archive for the ‘ “Irish” Poetry & Ditties ’ Category

Don’t Let Your Sons Grow Up (Parody)

(Sing to the tune of Mammas, don’t let your sons grow up to be cowboys.)

Mammas, don’t let your sons grow up to be pastors

Pastors are easy to love, but they’re hard to get home

Just one more call to be made,

A seed to be sown

Longwinded blessings and old illustrations,

And everyone thinks he’s a saint

His wife, yes, she loves him;

She puts up with him;

But that’s one thing she knows that he ain’t!

Chorus:

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be pastors

Don’t let ‘em tape sermons and buy them old books

Keep them from pulpits, and potlucks and rook

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be pastors

Whenever they’re home,

They tie up the phone

And dinner is always served cold.

(Repeat Chorus)

Pastors like words nobody uses

In modern day language

They’d rather get out their Bible

And speak from the Greek

Dinner is burnin’ but he keeps on preachin’,

Then stops to shake every hand.

He ain’t worried about eatin’

Cuz he keeps on dreamin’

He’ll be the next Billy Graham!

(Repeat chorus twice)

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=WUQYJ77qa50

An Irish Blessing

May those who love us, love us.
And for those who don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he can not turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we may know them by their limping.
May you live as long as you want,
and never want as long as you live.

-Author unknown

-copied from Mary Abrahams

JUST GRIN

If your wallet’s kinda thin

And a heap of pain you’re in

Do the IRISH thing, pal, JUST GRIN!

 

When you’ve just confessed your sin

A peck of trouble you are in

Do the CHRISTIAN thing, Bud. JUST GRIN.

 

When you’re missin’ all your kin

They’re too busy to look in

Put a wrinkle on your lip: JUST GRIN.

 

Despite pills and medications

Supplements and pos-tive thinkin’

You can overcome depression: JUST GRIN.

 

Just grin and keep ’em guessin’

Keep a giggle effervessin’

With a wink or just a smirk

A snicker or a snort

Let ’em wonder why – you GRIN!

– by Dittydad

Better’n a Smile

Better’n a Smile 

By C.T.L. Spear 12/04/09

 

A grin is better than a smile,

And sure a lot less formal.

It is welcome almost anywhere

Not demanded, just thought normal.

Professional photographers will

Grudgingly accept one,

And when smilin’ don’t seem natural

A grin can flash and get ‘er done.

 

Little brother got his photo took

With Santa at the store.

But he was grim as a mortician…

Frowned for half an hour or more.

At home I tried to teach him

That the hassle will be less,

If you get it over with a grin

‘Cause the candy’s comin’ next!

USING A GRIN

Some time ago, I began writing what I call “Irish Poetry.” Perhaps it would better be labeled “Shanty Irish Poetry.” It rather fits with my lifelong habit of spontaneous ditty-singing, acquired from me Father and me Granddad. They always said we were “as Irish as Paddy’s pet pig in the parlor.” Take one for a test drive:

Using a Grin

by C.T.L. Spear

If your grin has come up missin’

Hunt it down and dust it off.

It is better than a sidekick

And… persistent as a cough

You can use it for disguise

Keep it handy, keep it near,

It will cover up your anger,

Pose a question, mask a fear.

 

It is better far than kissin’ –

Not as hard an art to master,

And because you do it solo

You can dead sure use it faster.

You can keep one in your pocket;

Hide it where your money was…

But I tuck mine behind my ear,

‘Twixt the stubble and the fuzz.

(3/13/09)